How do I choose my Best Man?
First, don’t have a few drinks, announce your pending engagement to the entire bar and then ask the first friend you see to be your Best Man.
It’s a big job, a real honour and has the potential to offend everyone if not handled properly. It needs a bit of thought.
Your best man needs to have five great qualities:
1. Reliability. Will he be there to help you when you need him?
2. Does he know you well? Will he know what kind of Stag Party you will actually enjoy? Can he make a speech with depth, not just tell jokes at your expense?
3. Responsible. Can he be left alone to arrange a group of men to go on the Stag Party and manage the Ushers on the big day? Will he lose your rings?
4. Diplomacy. Will he keep everyone happy especially your bride and her parents?
5. Confidence. Can he stand up in front of your friends and family (sober) and make a memorable, funny and meaningful speech?
If you still cannot decide who it should be, ask your wife to be. She may not get it completely right but if it’s her decision, you can’t get it wrong.
What shall I wear on the Big Day?
For a younger, modern approach and an outfit that transitions perfectly from day to night, is slimming, sexy and incredibly smart, it has to be the Tux.
Nothing else ever looks as stunning in photographs either.
Black Tie (Tuxedo) dress code will ensure the whole male congregation look their best – you won’t get confused people in mismatching jackets and trousers, shirts without ties, chinos…
Plus it doesn’t have to cost a fortune. With generous discounts for Wedding Parties, buying a Tux from Johnny will be cheaper than you think.
Of course, a more traditional options is Morning Wear. A long line Morning coat in black or navy, waistcoat, white shirt with a cravat or tie. You know the look… it’s perfect if you’re an old fashioned Penguin.
Or less formally, you could consider a regular lounge suit with or without a waistcoat. But you might just look like you’re on your way to work in a bank, not getting married.
Basically there are three options and they boil down to Tuxedo, Tuxedo or Tuxedo.
Do I have to wear a Wedding Ring?
Not all married men wear a ring but if you don’t want to, you’d better have a good excuse.
Platinum or gold? Well, gold is the classic but pure 24 carat gold is too soft so go for 18 which is around 75% pure.
White gold is 75% pure with other lighter coloured metals added. It’s then rhodium plated which will wear off over time and need re-doing.
Platinum is heavier and harder so won’t scratch as easily. Its more expensive though.
Style wise, I think a plain band wins hands down. Flat on the outside or rounded. 4-7mm wide depending on how big your hands are and how much you love bling.
Does your ring have to match your wife’s? Nice if it does.
Stressing over your speech. Don’t know where to start? Calm down, this is a common problem.
The Groom’s speech is a hundred times easier than the Best Man’s and follows a fairly straightforward 3 point format. Deep breath, stand up, wait for the clapping to stop.
1. Thank everyone (on behalf of your wife and yourself) for everything. Start with your bride’s father who has just made his speech. Then her Mum and your new family. Then your own family. Be as loving, grateful and thoughtful as you can be which will encourage a few tears from the other mothers in the audience. Nice. Thank the bridesmaids, the best man and groomsmen, anyone else who has helped. Hand out a few pressies at this point if you like. Don’t drag it on. Save some time for point 2…
2. The important part. Your new wife. Tell everyone how beautiful she looks, how much you love her. A couple of nice stories, how you met, how she has changed your life, why she is ‘the one’. Never forget that this is actually her day and you’re just sharing it (this is a fact). If you are sincere and loving there will be smiles and tears from the crowd. Everyone will love you more than ever.
3. The handover. Your best man is next. A quick (clean) joke about him will have everyone laughing and warmed up for him. Finish off with a toast to the bridesmaids (if you didn’t do it already in point 1).
Keep the whole thing to 10-15 minutes. Don’t drink too much beforehand. Don’t cry yourself but encourage emotion in the audience – smiles, laughter, tears – and they will be eating out your hand.
Sit down, slip the speech back into the inside pocket of your Johnny Tuxedo, lean over and kiss the bride and relax.